Self-Destruction (oil painting), 2016
Self-Destruction is a project focusing on the ruination of self-portraits in a collection of different mediums. Oil painting is the typical medium used for traditional portraiture. The use of smudging over the portrait was to give this sense of frustration. However the final piece was very much controlled with deliberate dragged pallet strokes. The idea of destroying this piece was met with fear of destroying it incorrectly. The destruction of the piece was planned out to a point where it was no longer organic; the anger and frustration was no longer portrayed. The whole process felt delicate that the final outcome didn’t feel destroyed at all.
n. the destruction of oneself or one's life.
Example: 'She was afraid of not being enough; not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough. So she fell through the acts of self-destruction. Passively allowing opportunities to pass by, not valuing her worth, sabortaging relaionships, avoiding social interactions, hiding her emotions and refusing help until soon she was a shell of herself. And the damage was done.'